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Social relationships matter: an unsettling 20-year study

Social Life matters

The social life of nearly 5000 Australian women was tracked over a period of twenty years. At the same time, their diagnosed illnesses were also tracked. The results may shock you: poor social relationships are strongly associated with illness. The importance of social relationships is a major factor in health and well-being.

About the study

An image showing the RR logo and a circle of stick figures holding hands, representing social life and relationship.

The study, “Social relationship satisfaction and accumulation of chronic conditions and multimorbidity: a national cohort of Australian women” was published on 21 February 2023. It presents the results of twenty years of research.

Background Social relationships are associated with mortality and chronic conditions. However, little is known about the effects of social relationship satisfaction on multiple chronic conditions (multimorbidity).

Multimorbidity

First of all, let’s define multimorbidity. Multimorbidity is when a person has multiple chronic conditions. This would mean having both depression and heart disease at the same time. Or, being obese and having cancer. Chronic diseases are diseases that cannot be cured. They can be managed, but once they are diagnosed, they’re with you for life. In aging populations, like those of Europe, there are large numbers of people living with multimorbidity. Social relationships and health will be at the forefront of anti-aging medicine in the next two decades, I predict

Multimorbidity is an unfortunate reality one sees first-hand when working with Manual Lymphatic Drainage and Oncology Massage. Rarely will a patient present with only a tumor, for example. Of course, it’s the medical team who looks after the pathologies. But the holistic massage therapist can support some elements of the social life of the patient. Not by befriending them, although of course, a relationship does grow. The support comes more in the sense of holding space, active listening, and coaching with emotional intelligence.

Social relationships

The researchers define social relationships as either structural, functional, or qualitative. Structural refers to the number of friends, and being married or not. Functional refers to people’s sense of being supported and loneliness. Qualitative refers to how a relationship is perceived. As the quote says, it is better to be alone than in bad company.

5 examples of social relationships could be a spouse, a child, a cousin, a friend, or a trusted colleague. Each of these relationships would then be classed within the structural/functional/qualitative scale.

This study demonstrates that the quality of these people’s social relationships plays a role in the development of these illnesses. As they write:

“We have demonstrated a dose-response relationship between social relationship satisfaction and the accumulation of multimorbidity from midlife to early old age, which was only partly explained by socioeconomic, behavioral, and reproductive factors. Social connections (eg, social relationship satisfaction) should be considered a public health priority in chronic disease prevention and intervention.“

Emotional Intelligence for healing

What this study is really telling us is that we are more likely to get sick if we don’t have healthy social relationships. So, the question is: What do we do with this information?

The path of healing is long and multi-faceted. Yoga philosophy begins with certain ethical pillars about how we treat ourselves and others. I suggest that we use the Yamas and Niyamas to guide us. These are simple things like telling the truth, seeking enjoyment in life, and not harming others. I say simple, but many of the social problems that we encounter, especially as we age, have to do with basic principles of decency, kindness, contentment, and honesty.

Self-knowledge

The art of Self-examination, with the goal of Self-knowledge, is a very worthwhile pursuit, and will often help to put order to your social life.

When you start to look at your social relationships, it often stings a little. It always takes two to tango, and if a relationship has failed, it usually has to do with both people. (Unless, of course, your best friend sleeps with your husband or something like that…)

You may decide to make repairs with someone who has drifted away. You may decide to cut ties with that certain frenemy. You may decide to use clearer language around boundaries with a friend who doesn’t show up for you when you need it. There are myriad ways that knowing yourself will help you get to know other people who are kindred and true friends.

Energetic-emotional body

Using emotional intelligence and active listening, I can offer you a safe space in which to voice thoughts and feelings that might otherwise remain unsaid.

Referring to the qualitative element of social relationships, it is curious how we can sometimes have loads of people around us, but no one to talk to. If there is unhealed trauma, even marriages can feel incredibly lonely. That is why having a discreet and professional therapist can be so helpful. And no, I am not a psychologist, and I don’t pretend to be.

With my long studies in yoga and vibrational healing, however, I can usually offer some pretty helpful insight about the energetic-emotional body and where different emotions sit and/or manifest. Bodywork, in fact, gives a unique insight into emotions precisely because it deals with somatized stress and unexpressed feelings.

Massage is a stress-buster

Let’s not forget that massage directly helps to bust stress by flooding the body with the feel-good chemical oxytocin. Oxytocin is the natural antidote to high cortisol levels, and just bringing the stress levels down a bit will probably help your relationships. , Of course, a massage isn’t going to heal all this. But, it can certainly take the edge off embodied stress and help you feel safer and softer. The added combination of sound therapy brings new resonance to your lived experience!

Why this matters to Rose Tint Your Life

Rose Tint Your Life is a concept of how to live well. I am not a fan of the “cult of positivity”. In fact, I think that it is unrealistic and impossible to be always positive. There are quite a few thinkers who share this opinion. We call it “Grounded Spirituality”. If you’re interested, check out Jeff Brown‘s work.

Massage is my “vehicle”, but my message is about the unity of body, mind, and spirit. I happen to start with the body because a sore, tense, traumatized body will never support a peaceful mind or serene spirit. This is in keeping with the yoga sutras, which use yoga âsana to bring about stillness in the body, with the specific aim of allowing us to practice meditation.

This study is helpful for those of us who are working in grounded spirituality. It helps us to understand how important connection, companionship, and support truly are. Furthermore, it demonstrates that our feelings do have an impact on our health.

Rose Tint Your Life by nurturing your social relationships. And if you’re feeling stuck, get a massage. It is a simple, low-tech, reliable way to feel better. And, if you’re with a grounded therapist, so much the better! 💚

Conclusion

If you think that your social relationships could do with some sprucing up or paring back, and you’re not sure how to start, maybe just start with looking after yourself. You can always get in touch with me via the Whatsapp button on my contact page. I look forward to seeing how we can work together. Sending good vibes from here,

-Rachel

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Trust me! I promise you this: 7 solid assurances

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Trust is the pillar of the therapeutic relationship. Trust is implicit and part of our code of ethics. After a treatment, I always thank people for “trusting my hands”. The body is what holds it all together – the font of sensorial information, the reservoir of emotion, and the source of much of our sense of personal identity. Here are seven solid assurances that I give you, should you decide to book with me.

I won’t hurt you:

It still surprises me how many people think that massage needs to be painful to be effective. Let me promise you this: my massage is deep but never painful. The art of massage is finding the right degree of pressure for a given area, then working just at the edge between pleasure and pain.

Good pain vs bad pain

Trust me! I promise you this: 7 solid assurances

Different people describe pain differently, depending on language and culture. But, there exists a common feeling that crosses boundaries: there is a kind of pain that feels good. Like pressing a bruise, there is a kind of pressure that eases the ache. Scientists call this the “pain-gate theory“. There is a point at which the Central Nervous System ceases to send/receive more nervous impulses. At this point, there is a dulling of the sensation. A good massage therapist knows this and works with the pain-gate theory to get just the right pressure to be healing without being overwhelming.

I will take the time to interview you and understand your history.

The therapeutic relationship is extremely important. The body is the temple of the spirit/soul (or whatever name you wish to give it). Putting yourself in the hands of an unknown therapist is an act of trust. So, I promise that I will always take the time to ask about injuries, pathologies, recent surgeries, past experiences with bodywork, what kind of sport or activity you do, what fragrances you like and dislike, and anything else that may come up. This is the time that I invest in you, I don’t charge extra for the first session. All of my patients know that I am generous in my booking times, and a good listener.

I won’t chat all the way through the massage.

Again, it seems strange to have to say it, but believe me, there are a lot of therapists who will chat right the way through the massage. Of course, in the context of a healing space, you may want to chat. We can even have a coaching session if you need some help to make a decision or choose a path. In this case, the conversation is centered on you and forms part of the therapy.

At the same time, maybe you simply need a quiet and private space to air your thoughts. The massage room offers this, too. But, I promised you that what I won’t do is fill your hour with chit-chat about my life, what I did at the weekend, my DIY projects, or my car insurance renewal. This list is only partly ironic – I have been talked to about all these sorts of things, and more, when receiving massages. So, promise number 3 – peace and quiet if that’s what you need.

The space is serene and there are few outside noises. Unlike in a busy polyclinic or therapy center, there are no loud voices in the hallway, ringing phones, or strident doorbells.

If appropriate, I will recommend some simple movements to help reduce your pain and help you move more freely.

I am a qualified yoga teacher with a long professional history. The objective of physical therapy must always be rehabilitation and freedom. If you arrive with pain or a compensation-type limitation of range of motion, and I have a safe, therapeutic exercise for you to do at home, I will recommend them.

I won’t rush.

Massage usually last about an hour. It takes at least that long to treat the whole body. When I was training, learning to fit a good treatment into 60 minutes was nearly the greatest challenge!

As an independent therapist, I carefully schedule my bookings so that I don’t have too many back-to-back treatments. This means that I can work peacefully and that you don’t feel hurried after the treatment. This sense of ease helps the mind-body to truly relax and improves the outcome of the treatment.

You will be adequately covered and warm.

Being warm and comfortable during massage is hugely important. The first time I received a massage in Spain, I was very surprised to be left uncovered. In the UK, where I trained, “towelology” or draping was one of the most important aspects. Not only for modesty but also for comfort. I also use an electric blanket during the winter months. I promise you that you won’t be cold or exposed!

I won’t body shame or judge you.

Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. My space is a safe place and LGBTQI-friendly.

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Rhythmic Breathing, lymphatic drainage and cerebrospinal fluid – 3 mind-blowing facts!

Did you know that

Read on….

HI everyone, it’s Rachel here again, Rose Tint Your Life.

Rhythmic Breathing

So, I thought I would do a little video about one of my favourite topics, which is breathing. I’m actually feeling a great need to share this information. I am feeling pretty sad right now because one of my longest-standing patients, or clients, has just left. He received a few months ago a very sad diagnosis of ALS which is a progressive, neurodegenerative disease. Most people might know it as Lou Gehrig’s disease, I think it’s what Stephen Hawking had. Anyway, ALS is incurable, we don’t know why people develop it, and obviously as it’s progressive, people get sicker and sicker. Some people have a longer period of living with it and some people have a shorter one.


He’s just left and I was giving him a lesson on breathing. His breathing is becoming increasingly troubled, he’s having difficulty swallowing, difficulty speaking. I gave the same piece of advice to him as I give to a lot of my yoga students, especially when I’m at SHA, where I do private classes, but also here when I do massage. I told him about rhythmic breathing.

The importance of rhythmic breathing.

A lot of people have been told at one point or another to breathe into their belly or whatever. They know that breathing is really important but maybe haven’t heard about rhythmic breathing. The way I try to describe it is by likening it to the pistons in a car. That’s an image that a lot of people can connect with. If you have four pistons in a car, they have to be moving in a synchronised rhythm because otherwise the car is either not going to go, or it’s going to shudder and judder all over the place.

Irregular breath rate

What I have observed in my many years of working as a therapist is that most people have a very, very irregular breathing rate. Rhythmic breathing without breath work or pranayama education is almost non-existent. Not only do people breathe too fast, 15-20 breaths per minute even in states of deep relaxation like whilst receiving a massage. I observe patterns where people will breathe in for 1-2 then out for 3…it’s all over the place, and people are just not conscious of the incredible impact that this has on the body.

Why should breathing be rhythmic?

The breath is like a pump. It’s like a piston. The diaphragm is moving up and down in the body and as it does so, it creates pressure differences in your thorax. The reason I know about this is from lymphatic drainage.

The lymphatic system

In lymphatic drainage we put a lot of emphasis on the breath and that’s because we know that deep breathing is one of the main if not the main motor of lymphatic flow. The lymphatic system doesn’t have a heart. It needs rhythmic breathing to push the lymph around the body. Of course there is also the muscle pump and there are little muscles on some lymph vessels. But what really moves the lymph is the pressure differences of the diaphragm pumping and pulling the lymph in the middle of your body. This push and pull, this pump, is created by rhythmic breathing.

Coming back to the piston thing, if you want to have an effective pump, say pumping water out of a well…you wouldn’t be going randomly, you would be pumping 1-2-1-2…because you need that rhythmic element.

Back to the case of ALS, which is a neurodegenerative disorder, and there are a lot of them out there, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, even Brain Fog, we don’t know what’s going on there.

Glymphatic System

The brain is a highly specialised organ, it is the prime user of oxygen and glucose in the human body. Every thought is a neurotransmitter…but the interesting thing about the brain is that it doesn’t have lymphatic drainage, or practically none. Now a couple of years ago some researchers were finally able to elucidate the glymphatic flow, or the glial lymphatic system. What they were able to understand is that there are these spirals that come down the nerves coming out of the brain and that helps to clean the brain.

Why is that important? The lymphatic system in the garbage collection system of the body. The way I just described it to the gentlemen is that it’s like leaves that fall off the trees in autumn. Of course if you leave them there on the ground they will eventually decompose, but they will rot, and smell bad and clog your drain, so it’s probably in your best interest to rake them up and put them in the compost.

By-products of metabolism

Well, it’s the same with the broken down neurotransmitters and all the by-products of metabolism of the human brain. Every single thought is a neurotransmitter, and when we metabolise we produce metabolic waste. In the rest of the body, the lymphatic system picks up this waste, but in the brain the lymphatic drainage is extremely limited. But, we are lucky because we have another system that can help to flush the brain: the cerebrospinal fluid.

Cerebrospinal fluid

The cerebrospinal fluid is somewhat similar to lymph (NOTE: It does not have lymphocytes). It is a clear, somewhat dense fluid that sits both in the sinuses inside of the head. Your brain isn’t completely full, there are some pockets of liquid, cerebrospinal liquid, and it sits in these sinuses but it also runs in the meninges.

Meninges

Most people know the word “meningitis”. Meningitis is swelling of the meninges. What are the meninges? The meninges are membranes. There are three of them. One of them is only in the brain but two of them go all the way down the spinal column. One of them goes all the way down to the tail bone!

These membranes are carrying lymph-like liquid that somehow has to move all the way from the top to the bottom and back. Now, we talked about the pump. Are you with me? What do you think moves the cerebrospinal fluid? The breath!

Cerebrospinal fluid flow in Alzheimer’s

There was an interesting piece of research published not too long ago about cerebrospinal fluid flow in Alzheimer’s patients. When there is deep breathing, the cerebrospinal fluid instead of just trickling along like a sewer or a river begins to flow in a wave-like motion—woosh! And they think that this could be more efficient to flush the brain and when we flush the brain we get rid of the by-products of metabolism.

I am not a physiologist and that’s as much as I know. I guess that if we are flushing these by-products out of the brain there must be linkages from the spinal column to the peripheral circulation or the central circulation. that’s something that I will have to check out for the next video.

Rhythmic breathing pranayama breath work lymphatic system cerebrospinal fluid.

For the time being, what I want you to understand is that rhythmic breathing moves the lymphatic system, moves the cerebrospinal fluid and it gives us a much better chance of cleaning up all the by-products of metabolism.

Rhythmic Breathing technique

It’s simple! The simplest technique of rhythmic breathing is this: All you do is you breathe in and out through your nose, and as you breathe in you count 1-2-3-4 and as you breathe out you count 4-3-2-1….

So you have some homework, try doing that, let me know in the comments how it goes for you, I would be happy to help you.